Take a season of "South Park", make a list of every single inappropriate joke you come across, convince a group of actors to act out every last one of them within a time bracket of 103 minutes, and then add in three extra cock jokes per minute just to be safe.

Don't skimp on the politically incorrect humor or the violence either, and make sure you have so much fast food industry criticism and parody-of-critism that it's hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. The result will probably be about half as fowl-mouthed as the movie that is Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead. Oh yeah, did I mention it's a musical?

Poultrygeist begins by showing us (in graphic detail) the night Arbie (Jason Yachanin) and his girlfriend Wendy (Kate Graham) consummate their relationship on the site of a haunted American Indian burial ground. They aim to make it a night to remember. Come fall, Wendy is going off to college while Arbie will be staying in his tiny middle-American town, and although she swears college will never change her, he is terrified he will lose her. Then they abandon their conversation to get down to bizness -- before the molesting limbs of angry Indian corpses drive them away in terror from the burial ground.

Half a year later the fast food chain American Chicken Bunker comes and builds one of its franchises over the old burial ground.  Arbie comes to the grand opening eager to eat -- and then discovers that Wendy, who'd sworn college would never change her, has become a lesbian.

After getting into a fistfight with her new girlfriend Micki (Allyson Sereboff), Arbie decides to get revenge by... going to work for ACB, the building over the burial ground of which Micki and Wendy had been protesting. The white Arbie is promptly hired, and meets his black general manager Denny (Joshua Olatunde), as well as his other co-workers: burqa-clad Muslim, Humus (Rose Ghavami) -- yes, like the dip; badly inbred white trash redneck Carl, Jr. (Caleb Emerson); gay Mexican fry-cook Paco Bell (Khalid Rivera); a mysterious as-yet unnamed 60 year-old man (Lloyd Kaufman); and ACB owner General Lee Roy (Robin L. Watkins).

Before long, however, Arbie and the other employees of ACB begin to discover that there is something afoot that is no yoke-ing matter. As they investigate into the mysterious deaths that start to crop up, they find that maybe building a not-so-pleasant-to-poultry establishment on top of a sacred American Indian burial ground wasn't the best idea...

Poultrygeist is childish, painful to watch at times, and not for the weak of constitution. Even seasoned viewers of grossly, baldly offensive and juvenile movies might find themselves shell-shocked. The more prudish among viewers might find themselves wishing they could hate the movie... but anybody who appreciates (however secretly) musical theatre, sex jokes, or gratuitous violence will find themselves exiting the theatre convinced they are going mental due to worrying levels of appreciation for the film. See it -- I dare you.

Just don't bring the kids.

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3.25 Copyright (C) 2007 Alain Georgette / Copyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved."