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 ‘Tis the season, right? The time of year when everyone's thoughts turn to gingerbread lattes and bad lip-syncing on holiday specials. When your local classic rock station starts firing off songs like Springsteen's "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town" at such an alarming rate that January 1st can't come fast enough.
It's also about the time when you start taking a little honest inventory of the year. When you look at yourself in the mirror and say, "So this is Christmas, and what have you done?"
 For the past few years at around this time, my band and I have been lucky enough to be invited by a local elementary school to come in and talk about things like songwriting, playing in a band, being a general menace, etc. The first time we were asked, I thought, "Cool . . . maybe we can work up a cover of U2's "Christmas - Baby Please Come Home" and I could really get my ‘Ol Saint Bono' on."
Besides, as musicians who . . . um, unfortunately (but not unsurprisingly) weren't asked to either play for the troops overseas, or contribute a song to A Very Special Christmas 19 or whatever the hell the number is now, what better way to spread some cheer?
Then it hit me. There had to be some structure in my lecture. I couldn't just go up and freestyle for 60 minutes, because some (most!) of the things that come into my head are not made for little ears.
Also, I knew that of all the things I could be on that auditorium stage, boring had better not be one of them. Cause I'd lose ‘em. Fast. So, I came up with the idea of a short songwriting tutorial (that's a nice educator word for ya), to be followed by the always effective Q & A. I brought my notes. The band brought their instruments. We were ready.
I launched into the songwriting lesson furiously. Outlining the basics. "You know the part in that Nickelback song that goes, 'Cause we all just wanna be big rock stars . . . ,' well boys and girls, that's your chorus." (Note: Of course I stopped before the line, 'girls come easy and the drugs come cheap.' Hey, I have a conscience!)
When on the subject of hooks, I even had our guitar player demonstrate as I spoke. This took things to a whole other level. Two notes into "Walk This Way", the place went ballistic. I mean full-on, someone's-gonna-get-fired-for-this, crazy. I was Johnny Cash. This was Folsom Prison.
Not really having much of a choice at this point, I segued, quickly, on to the Q & A. And the questions? Oh, the questions. "Do you know Green Day?" . . . "Can you play 'Sexy/Back'?" . . . "Can you play 'Back In Black'?" One kid even stood up and asked if our guitar player, and I quote, possessed "the skills necessary to play 'Eruption' by Eddie Van Halen." Wow! Did he really just ask that? It was like finding Anakin on Tatooine. We have discovered the Chosen One! Impressive. Most impressive.
It wasn't these students' instant-message-like-recall of the latest news on Good Charlotte, Fall Out Boy and the rest of the bands dating TMZ.com regulars that got me, it was their thorough knowledge of veteran acts like The Who and Beatles. 'Cause you gotta keep in mind, most of them were born after the death of Kurt Cobain, let alone John Lennon. But there they were, both asking and answering question after question about 'Tommy', 'Hey Jude', and "that lady with one fake leg". Priceless!
But the story doesn't end here . . .
A few weeks later, we received a stack of thank-you letters in various shapes and sizes. Here are some excerpts, all of which started, Dear Red Carpet Rats:
"I wanted to say thank you for coming and how much I like your band. I really hope you come back and play some more songs or sell us some CDs."
"You guys inspired me, now I have started writing my own song . . . I think it will be pretty good."
"In my opinion, your as good as Aerosmith."
Now if that don't make you crack a smile, then you ARE a mean one, Mr. (or Mrs.) Grinch . . and, it's time to up the meds! 'Cause giving back is what it's all about, especially this time of year, ya' know? I'd like to think, at one time or another, we were all ‘that kid'. I know I was. Still am in fact.
So... let me take this space and thank all these kids again for everything they've given me, and us, for the holidays. I can just hear ‘em now, "You're welcome! Can you guys play 'Crazy Train'?"
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