If you’re looking for a few laughs and a warm-up movie before you see that real movie you came for at the multiplex, “Blockers” fits the bill. The film wanders from a kind of “Sixteen Candles” coming-of-age drama to an utterly goofball flick bordering on “Bad Grandpa.” In most scenes, the teens act like adults and the adults act like kids. And by adults acting like kids, we mean infantile, like when parent Mitchell (John Cena) chugs beer into his asshole. (The booze colonic supposedly creates a loftier high.) It’s more sad than funny to watch this kind of arrested development behavior in a grown man who has supposedly been “raising” a daughter.
“Blockers” starts out innocently enough with Mitchell and fellow parents Lisa (Leslie Mann) and Hunter (Ike Barinholtz) see their little girls off to their first day of elementary school. It’s a somewhat emotional moment for the parents who end up commiserating and bonding. I was engaged at this point. Okay, parents involved in their kids, real humor to follow.
Fast forward to the girls now teen BFFs getting ready for college. Lisa has become your typical smothering helicopter mom; Mitchell is cartoonishly overprotective and cry-baby sensitive, a polar opposite to his “smackdown” action hero persona; and Barinholtz is a wise-cracking, consequences-be-damned parent who has no problem with his daughter getting drunk, stoned, and losing her virginity. Hey, it’s the experience they’ll always remember.
Not surprisingly, all three girls have made a pact to lose their virginity on Prom Night. Nothing new here, as we’ve seen this in other teen comedies. Julie (Kathryn Newton) plans to do the deed with her boyfriend Austin (Graham Phillips). Kayla (Geraldine Viswanathan) decides she’ll sleep with Connor (Miles Robbins). And shy Sam (Gideon Adlon), who we learn is gay (and still in the closet), decides to fake it with her date Chad (Jimmy Bellinger) while hoping to hook up with lesbian Marcie (Sarayu Blue) at the Prom. As the three girls head out for their big night, Julie accidentally leaves a group chat open on her laptop and our clueless parents manage to decipher the emojis (actually quite a funny scene). So the race is on to stop them from carrying out their pact. But not all the parents feel this way.
“Blockers” takes parental angst about protecting (or not protecting) their young daughters to farcical levels. It pokes fun at parents who see teen sex as careless and regards those who think it’s okay as cool and enlightened. Our college-bound “smarter than their parents” teens blithely ignore the consequences of sex, pot and booze. (Can we at least wait for college Spring Break for our youth to go crazy?)
As you can tell, I’m not a big fan of these silly R-rated teen comedies. I prefer John Hughes’ films like “Breakfast Club” or “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” Films with endearingly funny moments that address the problems teens face in a realistic way. My biases aside, there were some redeeming moments in “Blockers.” Lisa’s close relationship with Julie was endearing and real when she expressed her apprehensions about letting her daughter leave the nest (from Chicago to UCLA). Sam’s budding romance with lesbian Marcie was nicely portrayed. And Kayla’s relationship with her nutty dad was heartfelt.
With the right script, “Blockers” could have been funnier and real. Boy-girl relationships could have been creatively and realistically explored a la “Say Anything,” which skillfully dovetails humor and heart. Drawing humor out of teen pathos takes a bit of creativity, but “Blockers” sets the bar too low and goes for the cheap laughs. The challenges of parents raising teens are always fertile ground for humor. “Parenthood” comes to mind. Instead, making parents look like clueless clowns and teen girls talk like hookers is only “shock” funny. And watching teens toss their cookies after binging on booze is a tired cliché.
“Blockers” can’t really decide what sort of movie it wants to be. It wanders in and out of teen comedy territory, nudges into faux drama, and ends with teens teaching their parents the “wisdom” they seem to lack. Overall, the film’s emotional center is buried in sight gags and comedic sketches that square peg teens and parents into absurd stereotypes.
Alex A. Kecskes is a published author of "Healer a Novel" available on Amazon. He has written hundreds of film reviews and celebrity interviews for a wide variety of online and print outlets. He has covered red carpet premieres and Comic-Con events for major films and independent releases.
