Silly, crude, ridiculous and distasteful, the film Baywatch, coming to the screen as a remake, is deceptive and can’t hold a candle to David Hasselhoff’s iconic TV show. Males will be lining up after watching the trailer to check out the film hoping they can see another wild and crazy Neighbors or 21 Jump Street with a lot of T&A and a cool story to boot. Nope, not even close.
The movie mimics the “Lifeguard Race” of a 1989 TV episode of “Baywatch” with Dwayne Johnson taking the part of Lt. Mitch Buchannan looking to fill three spots on their squad for the summer. Included in the participants are a down on his luck Olympic swimmer Matt Brody (Zac Efron), Ronnie Graham (Jon Bass) a heavyweight going for his third try, and Summer Quinn (Alexandra Daddario) a hot chick with a lot of energy.
After the race their trial term begins, but the newbies find there’s more to just running in the water to save a person caught in a bad wave. As it turns out their leader Mitch (Dwayne Johnson) feels he’s more than just a Lt. Lifeguard and has stuck his nose into local crime. South Florida drug kingpin Victoria Leeds (Priyanka Chopra) has amassed enough money to buy out all the property on the beach and she has local political leaders in her pocket.
With Mitch are his experienced regulars CJ Parker (Kelly Rohrbach) and Stephanie Holden (Iifenesh Hadera) who have taken the recruits under their wing. When they uncover the drug plot and get turned down by police Captain Thorpe (Rob Huebel) they take the matter into their own hands. Director Seth Gordon (Identity Thief) puts his comedic stamp of approval on this missed effort giving the iconic TV show a make-over of ridiculousness. While his intention certainly is to make you laugh, he does do that, but it’s at the expense of some fine actors.
The Rock should have never taken the role because to me it’s a step down for the cool action/comedy actor. I know he’s probably the most buffed out actor on the block and he has the speed and agility to take on the role, but the silliness of this Baywatch? Really? Stick to what you do best Dwayne and dodge a few offers that are really not your cup of java.
Even Zac Efron who plays Matt Brody has stepped into a pile. He portrays a downtrodden Olympic swimmer who got drunk prior to his relay race and lost it for the team. Efron loses his luster as a stud who finds himself being the butt of many of the sight gags. It gets nasty. It isn’t that Zac can’t act, because he can, but with this lame script he’s not up to his “A game”. Stick to what works like the performances in the comedies Neighbors and Dirty Grandpa or maybe a drama like The Lucky One. He’ll just have to shrug this one off and get back on the bike and choose more wisely.
When I think of TV’s “Baywatch” the things that come to mind are sun, surf and babes, a lot of them. The TV show started in the 1980’s and ran through 2001 so the rise of nudity on the home medium had not yet bared more than a quick view of female cleavage and a snippet of bare bottom. And, most men back in the day could only dream of Pamela “Lee” Anderson and Yasmine Bleeth breaking a swimsuit strap in a big wave or while in a scuffle with the bad guys. While the Baywatch movie has a lot of gorgeous woman, the formula gets shredded with the males taking over the screen showing off a lot of personal and private flesh and most of the comedy is about male privates.
Baywatch has been rated R by the MPAA for language throughout, crude sexual content, and graphic nudity. The film also involves drugs, has some strong violence and the nudity involves male private parts. Although your teens may want to go and see the film, both immature male and females may be best served with a movie like Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales.
FINAL ANALYSIS: Too much silliness and absurdity for me.
Additional Film Information:
Cast: Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Priyanka Chopra, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Rohrbach, Jon Bass, Iifenesh Hadera, Rob Huebel, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II.
Directed by: Seth Gordon
Genre: Comedy, Action, Crime
MPAA Rating: R for language throughout, crude sexual content, and graphic nudity (also violence and drugs)
Running Time: 1 hr. 56 min.
Release Date: May 25, 2017
Distributed by: Paramount Pictures
Released in: 2D
The comments within this review are the critic’s expressed opinions.
Writer, critic, film editor John Delia, Sr. has been on all sides of the movie business from publications to film making. He has worked as a film critic with ACED Magazine for more than 20 years and other publications for a total of 40 years. He earned a Bachelor’s degree in communications from the University of Florida. John is a member of the Southeastern Film Critics Association and Critics Association of Central Florida Send John a message at jdelia@acedmagazine.com
