Here’s a bright-yellow thumbs up to the new emoji rollout. Not having to tab through different categories saves time in texting. We won’t complain too much about the missing middle finger Apple promised because there are other, more creative ways to express ire. (Angry Mexican wrestler mask.)
But, if emojis were designed to save time in digital communication, in addition to releasing more diverse options it would have been nice to see 15 still-missing emojis that are part of many females’ regular texting vocabulary.
1. Green juice. “Tomorrow’s the day I’m FINALLY going to start a cleanse.” Or: “Current mood: Starving.”
2. Flip-flops. Represents summer, vacation and a pedicure. (We currently have a mani and a hideous polish color, at that.)
3. Champagne. “My boss is out sick!”
4. Fingers crossed. “Hope his new girlfriend is a troll.”
5. Macaron. The official food of fashion bloggers deserves its own emoji. Just think of the play it would get on Instagram!
6. Yoga. For bragging rights about how one spent their Saturday morning. Or: “Hey friend, you need to zen the eff out.”
7. TOMS. Emoji speak for “Just kickin’ it.” Or: “Alert: the hipsters have taken over our once-undiscovered wine bar.”
8. Queso. I live in Texas, where chips and queso are regarded as the cure-all healer for romantic failures, slowdowns in economic growth, loss of a loved one and everything in between.
9. Hungover. Sometimes a single emoji is all you need to send a friend about the bad decisions you made together last night.
10. Shopping bag. Because that’s often what I’m doing when someone texts to ask what I’m doing.
11. Margarita. (See #8.)
12. Iced coffee. To express the need for a caffeine fix in the summertime.
13. White wine. Because we don’t all drink all red, all the time.
14. XO. Love ya! Also: A humble single-emoji comment to thank someone who just commented on Instagram that your selfie is amazing.
15. Shhh. “DON’T YOU DARE TELL A SOUL THAT THING I TOLD YOU AFTER TOO MUCH 
LAST NIGHT!!”
I write like I think—fast, curious, and a little feral. I chase the weird, the witty, and the why-is-this-happening-now. From AI meltdowns to fashion glow-ups, if it makes you raise an eyebrow or rethink your algorithm, I’m probably writing about it. Expect sharp takes, occasional sarcasm, and zero tolerance for boring content.
