True Blood Episode 4.06, “I Wish I Was The Moon” happened last night. Here are the things we thought were the best and worst bits of the hour …
5 BEST
- Boomerang. Sookie and Eric start to get it on but Bill interrupts them after Pam’s slip of Eric’s whereabouts sends him back to her house. He’s surprised when Eric doesn’t seem to recognize him and bows like a good subject when Sookie reveals that Bill is his King. Once again, when Bill takes Eric into custody, Meddling Meddlepants Sookie tries to make Vampire Bill do what she wants by playing the “If you ever loved me” card. Bill tells her again to stay out of Vampire business, but Sookie refuses to listen, so he bans her from his property.
- Revenge of the Dead Babe. Eric is thrown in Bill’s basement prison with Pam. He negotiates her release, and she goes after Tara. Despite her mean streak, we feel that Pam is too awesome not to love. She’s completely loyal to Eric (as she should be) and becomes emotional (something we rarely see in her) at the prospect of his not wanting to return to his old, glorious self. Instead of being afraid of rotting her way to the True Death, she’s pissed off and defiant about it. While her wanting revenge on anyone other than Marnie is unjustified and misguided, we love the fact that her spirit won’t allow her to go out with a whimper. She prefers to be, you know, awash in Tara’s blood and guts.
- No Good Deed. It’s Bill’s turn to seek revenge and finally dispatch Eric by telling the Authority a few little white lies. But in the end, his everlasting love (gag) for Sookie and moral crutch won’t let him do it. Not in the face of Eric’s obvious repentance. It’s comforting to know that the old Bill is still in there. But we can’t help but wonder what this means for him when the Authority finds out.
- For Humanity’s Sake. While it’s hilarious to find out that Jason Stackhouse went through the trouble of handcuffing himself to his bed for nothing because he isn’t actually turning into a Werepanther, we’re also rejoicing in the news. Yes, that’s right folks, “Those Hotshot f***ers are so dumb they can’t even make a Werepanther right.” Thank God. Does this mean we’ll be rid of them forever? Probably not. But at least we don’t have to worry about Jason turning into one of them (yet). Besides, we’re still reeling from Jason’s blase attitude about being kidnapped and gang raped by a bunch of backwoods lady hicks (who probably aren’t very healthy). How come Tara has to go (appropriately) nuts after what Franklin did to her, but Jason just gets to move on and start flirting with Jessica like he didn’t just get used like a soiled baby-making machine?
- The Skinwalker Cometh. Awww, poor dumb, sad Tommy the Mommy Killer. We keep waiting for him to turn out decent so he and Sam can become Real Brothers but it never, ever, ever happens. He was so distraught after murdering his parents in self defense that he went and shifted into Sam, on a count of that whole Skinwalker legend and all. Though disoriented and freaked out at first, it didn’t take him long to like the idea of being Sam and start causing trouble. He told Sookie off and fired her (which we kind of loved) then had sex with Luna and threw her out of Sam’s trailer. After shifting back into himself, he threw up and passed out. Sam found him in a pile of puke later that night. Poor Sam. Boy we bet he wishes he never went to find the Mickens in the first place. We love it when actors have to portray other actors’ characters as themselves though. Sam Trammell did an awesome job of getting Tommy’s stilted immature bravado down. And we think he imitated the voice as well. Nice one.
- The Baddest Witch. We threw in this bonus because we’d be hard pressed not to mention it. Yes, Marnie is the baddest witch of them all. She begs for possession, evokes the Witch Antonia and out she comes for revenge. Antonia subdues and conquers Vamps with bitchy ease, and we absolutely love it. Everyone should be crapping their pants at the sight of her. We know we are.
5 WORST
- Got To Give It Up. Everybody seems to be obsessed with what’s ‘between Sookie’s legs’. She forgot that she hates Eric just as much as she supposedly hates Bill, but hey! If Eric can’t remember how much of a prick he’s supposed to be, why not give up the goodies? She and Eric reunite in the woods after Bill lets him go and they do it. Well, at least he didn’t crawl out of the ground.
- The Two Princes. While we find it endearing to see the softer, more sensitive Eric for a change, we miss the old ruthless Viking Prince Eric just as much as Pam does.
- Baby Firestarter. Ah God, Satan’s Baby is back. Apparently he and that creeped out freak doll started a fire that burned down Sam’s retirement plan (the house Arlene’s family lived in). The Doll has the spirit of some 1920s chick in it we’re guessing? Cause she appeared out of nowhere, only seen by the baby, waved and disappeared. Truthfully, we can’t even really be bothered to use brain power to investigate these weird happenings any further. At least not until we’re forced to on the next episode.
- Bruho Madness. So we gather the writers likes to put Lafayette in situations that make him uncomfortable so he can be his sassy self and spew out snappy one-liners every five minutes. Generally, we love this approach. Jesus and his creepy grandfather are starting to bother us, however. After Gramps tells Jesus to bring him a sacrifice or he wouldn’t help them, then throws the snake he brought at his face and nearly kills him, it’s Lafayette that saves Jesus’ life when he becomes possessed by another Bruho, Tio Luca. There’s an indication that Gramps could care less about Jesus, but is now more interested in bringing out whatever special power Lafayette has inside of him. Probably for personal gain, according to Gramps’ seemingly sinister character. If this indeed turns out to be the case, we’re hoping Lafayette can turn the tables on him and come into his own. We’re willing to stick with this thread if the end result is our being gifted with Lafayette the Bruho. Otherwise, groan.
- Debbie Downer. Alcide caught Debbie agreeing to join the pack in a “baby, you’re home early” bit we already saw coming, and that poor door-mat just wilts under her magic blinky eyeballs and joins the pack with her. We smell a rat. It feels like she’s manipulating him, or the Alpha manipulated him by using her, or any of that kind of thing. Let’s keep our blinky-eyeballs pierced for that other shoe to drop though.
Next week’s episode, “Cold Grey Light of Dawn”, will see Marnie and Tara join forces some sort of way in order to force all Vampires to meet the sun. Grandpa Bruho is definitely interested in Lafayette, and somebody shoots Bill.
True Blood airs Sunday nights at 9pm on HBO.
